COURAGE
I went cycling as soon as I got home from work today, it was just too nice outside to think about groceries or making supper. My daughter was not impressed, her feathers a little ruffled! Mom has been pretty devoted for the last 16 years, and I still am, Saffron just can't see it yet. I'm just learning to see it. Going off by myself and riding is a love, one I have only recently allowed myself. Over this last year, it feels like the role I have been playing as "mom" is shifting, bringing with it many new changes and realizations. Ego can be like a mask we wear to play a role, maybe to hide who we are from others and on a more subtle level, to hide who we are from ourselves. It's there to protect us from getting hurt, only usually does the opposite. It seems that life's journey is a shedding of those masks as life grows us, until there is no mask at all. Sometimes it gets ripped away, sometimes it is replaced and sometimes it just doesn't fit anymore or we don't need it and are ready to let it go. There is an ego death, and along with that comes newness. I was forgetting to see the newness. There was not as much fear taking off the mask as there was seeing what was undernearth. It felt like there was nothing there, and that was hard to " face." GraduallyI found courage. A few months ago, I didn't think I could write a blog, because for me, putting my thoughts out there for me to see, even if no one else reads them, was scary. I didn't think I could take pictures...I am learning. It takes courage to let go of self-imposed limitations and to see this in others is inspiring and I am grateful. " Courage is required to climb your own internal mountains of self doubt and all those feelings that you are not good enough. This is the courage that creates heroes. Invisible and unsung heroes, taking on their mountains, and quietly inspiring others to reach for their own personal peaks.."
posted by Wendy at 7:42 PM
5 Comments:
Oh my....the flood of emotions that came pouring through when I read this. Why is it we always have to fill a role? Someone's daughter, someone's wife, someone's mother. Why not just someone ourselves? As women we strive to nurture so much that we lose ourselves in the wants and needs of those around us. Allow yourself the selfishness to go on that bike ride alone. Soon enough Saffron will be gone and you will be left with yourself for company but that is not so bad: you just need to discover that you, yourself, are good enough company.
You will be a better mother having that contentment of finding your forgotten soul.
Thank you for your thoughts, we all have many roles to play in this drama, and that is what makes life interesting and at times terribly confusing. Maybe losing ourselves is the very path to finding ourselves? It is a process that I am learning to appreciate! I believe that firstly and foremost we are souls, we lose that consciousness when we over-identify with our physical roles. Courage is a quality of the soul, it is not physical, it just manifests itself in the things we do...and I think the soul is most content when we remember our true identity, we become not only better mothers but better people, coming from a truer place.
Biking. :) Can't wait to start it again myself. Next week maybe. And this year I have a digicam. :)
And about starting a blog and taking pictures, I was feeling the same and I'm a step further now. No matter of what quality it is what I write or post. And I notice there are still many facets to develop and explore.
Hope you are off on your bike soon, and looking forward to your pictures! I have a LOT to learn about blogging etc., just about using this computor and figuring out all the things one can do. Am a late bloomer! Today is the first day using my own computor, I've been sharing it with a teenager...very competitive!
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